The problem with having a blog is that every once and a while something comes up that reminds me off some of the skeletons in my closet. I guess that isn't actually the problem...The problem is...Do I post about it?
A lot of the thinking that I've done lately is around the upcoming Federal election. I intend to vote this time...For the first time federally (I'm young remember?). I like what Keith Martin has to say, but I'm leary of another Liberal Government. The NDP made a mess of BC (made worse by the Liberals), I worry about a country run by unions. But the Conservatives just scare me. I fundamentally disagree with their fundamentals. In fact I have a hard time looking past their bible thumping image to hear the message.
Which brings me too my skeletons...
Gay marriages...
and abortions
Gay marriages aren't where the story is...I attended one in Beacon Hill park 8 years ago...Long before they were legal. Of course the ceremony was by no means legal even by today's standards, a handfast followed by sword dance in Celtic tradition, but the love was still there. I hope they are still doing well.
My issue is with the Conservatives stance on abortions...
Once upon a time there were two girls who ran away from home...
One girl (who I will call Harley) was a native who was raised off of the reserve and lived in a very abusive household. The other was me. The two of us couch surfed, popped in and out of group homes, rehab and halfway houses, or just lived on the streets of Vic for a few years (her more then me). One day at a party, one of Harley's brothers friends raped her. Harley didn't tell anyone because she didn't want to rock any boats, and instead went to the birthcontrol clinic and took a morning after pill. She spent the rest of the day throwing up in a park. This guy who raped her, Steve, decided that she must have liked it, so this senario repeated itself on occasion over a couple of years. Harley actually wasn't alone, there were a few other girls that he was doing this too, all street kids (yup, me included). Finally she confided in me about it. I was at a low point at the time and wasn't really caring about myself. But she was my best friend, and if I didn't look after her, then no one else would. I convinced her to do something about him. She wanted to get the NWA (Natives with Attitude, a Songhees gang at the time) to teach him respect. I wanted to go to the cops. She gave in, and we reported him...
Of course nothing happened. Steve was a university student, we had blue, pink and green hair. Steve had a job and a place to live. We smelt like pot and never did our laundry. When asked if we had said "No" (the definition of rape) She hadn't after the first time, because it wouldn't have made a difference. And I had, I think...I was pretty messed up at the time...But ya. The fact that we were 14-15 at the time, and he was 20 didn't seem to be an issue. Neither did the fact that we actually didn't agree to sleep with him, ever. The case was dropped. Our friends hated us, we were labeled as "heat" and "rats"...Apparently Harley's idea would have been better. Steve visited us both one last time, just 'cause he could.
Harley and I sort of went different ways after that. I straightened up, tried going back to school, volunteered at various places trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life, and finally went traveling across Canada, got a job, and grew up.
Harley started taking more serious drugs, fell into a cocaine addiction, alcoholism, prostitution, abusive relationship...All before she was 18.
Now. What if either of us had become pregnant?
The amount of drug abuse, rape, incest, malnutrition, disease, mental illness and poverty in any city in Canada is staggering. Sometimes the only choice for survival is crime (Don't argue with me Dan, you weren't ever there). I know of dozens of cases where a girl would get knocked up by some guy promising to love and protect her, only to turn around and he would be gone. Stupid? Yes. But she's 16 and already doesn't have any dignity left, if she ever had it. Between begging for change, begging for welfare, begging for food, begging for love...What education she has is usually useless, her friends are emotional leaches just like her, and it's much easier to buy alcohol and smile for a night, then buy cloths and get a job. (Where she is told, she will be miserable anyways). She's still young, she should be living life and having fun. She still smokes as well. The baby is born, and something is wrong with it...or not, I've seen it both ways. She moves in with some new guy who jerks her around both for love and money. Finally she's tired of it and leaves the kids with a sitter and takes up stripping. (No joke here, I do know 2 girls were this senario is dead on, and many more with variations). Soooooo, if the girl had made the choice and aborted, maybe things might have gone better for her, and maybe not. But the baby would not grow up in that atmosphere, would not have been born with asthma, or addicted to crack or with fetal alcohol syndrome, and would not live below the poverty line, dealing with all those things I mentioned above. To take the choice away, in my mind is just as damning to the child in this case, as it is to abort. And adopting out a child with physical and mental issues I understand, is quite difficult.
These are all my arguments for "Choice". Being a mother, it is hard to think about it in a biological sense. To extinguish a life, small as it is, causes some real moral issues for me now. But I have a loving husband, a house, a meaningful life. A good place to give my kids roots and a safe atmosphere free of substance abuse. Not all women are so lucky. And it's an issue that needs to stay open here in Canada.
Abortions by their very definition are tough choices to make. As long as the choice is there, then girls will think long and hard before deciding. The more thinking that they do the better.
Perhaps Harley would have straightened up her act, and I would have been the prostitute?
No comments:
Post a Comment